Mariah my love.
I think this will be much easier than a book because neither of us can use the excuse that we forgot it at home. We will always have this with us, even at university and maybe during our real lives in the grown up world.
The first thing I need to say is thank you.
Thank you for always being there. I realize how much I needed you when lost you. It scared me beyond belief when I thought I lost you that day. I had pretty much given up on myself and to see someone else give up on me broke my heart in half.
I'm sorry that had to happen, but I take full responsibility for it.
Sometimes I feel like I don;t need help because I'm doing somewhat ok. Like this week I feel like it would be a waste of time going for help because I have been eating, I have put on weight and kept it on and stable.
I'm trying to justify what I did, and I'm doing a shit job at it.
I'm sorry I can't try hard enough sometimes.
Anyway
I love you
I have something I need to tell you, but I hav been afraid of what you would say. I am afraid that you would be mad at me, but most of all I'm afraid you'd take his side. I think I'm ready to talk about it. I mean, I talked to him yesterday so I must be somewhat ok.
xox
Stef
